nature of addiction

questions without answers

In Love With The Doubt by Dolorean

How could you fall in the love with the target when I am the gun?

How could you spend the night with the shadow when I am the sun?

And all your attention for the corkscrew when I am the wine

And all your affection for the hymnbook when I am the choir



Love is blind and the lights are out

You couldn't live with, and now you can't live without

I'm in love with the love, I'm in love with the doubt

I'm in love with the love, I'm in love with the doubt



You spent your time running your lines when I wrote the play

You've got your hands all over the handle when I am the blade

How could you fall in love with the color when I am the dye?

How could you give yourself to the smoke when I am the fire?

walk down memory lane: y2k

combining over-hyped y2k fears with that classic good time christian feeling of the end of the world equals pure marketing genius!! yes it does. take a bit a doom, a bit of gloom, add lots of saccharin, and blend with the creamy, deeeeep voice of the cyborg announcer chuck ohman, and you’ve got the year 2000 time bomb! please watch and learn, ’cause it’s your last chance. man, me and my buddy rob were so ready for some good chaos to go down. what a bummer that millions weren't actually thrown into loss of structure and security. well there's always tomorrow (or the year 2015 when, according to terminator, that the shit hits the fan).

WARNING: the magic vibrational voice of chuck ohman may actually lull you into buying some useless peices of garbage.

ghosts and spirits

this is my latest cd project for a guy named phil woodward. the album is called simply enough 'ghosts and spirits' he made the album inspired after c.s. lewis' 'the great divorce' in which those who inhabit the story take a bus through different facets of heaven and hell. the art reflects a lonliness for those on the bus and travels mostly through gray areas.

these are the inside cover images.

for the lyrics section i designed it like an old book, i digitally weathered book pages and water faded the text and ink graphics.

i was bummed working such a long time on a book cover that was never used, but i vow to use it for a future project since i learned how to finally pull off the technique of making new textures look worn and cracked surfaces like an old golden book you'd find in your childhood chest.

the evolution of calvinism

kinship

i read this a few days ago and it's completely changed the way i look at everyday dogs. we are mythically linked.

"Dogs evolved from Wolves, if you are looking for even farther back on the evolutionary chain you have to ask what was the evolution of the wolf was. In any case, the dog came from the wolf. Most research states that early people would notice lone wolves hanging out at there fires when they ate. These wolves learned where there were humans there was food. They would pick up scrapes left to them and follow the people around.

The people realized this and soon saw that with wolves around the perimeter of the camps they were safer from certian predators including other wolves. So they encouraged the behavoir. Even feeding them more nad more. They started noticing the most tame ones. If these ones bred, they began to take the pups and domesticate them. They would use them as gaurds and sentries, also for work and food. They began to breed traits into the animals that they needed. This in turn changed the Size, the Shape, The Color, The bone structure. Eventually and quickly many breeds of diffrent dogs were created, just by human manipulation."

back from the ted

ya after phil declared me dead i felt a bit grave. a cheap pug ripoff from the onion...i couldn't go out like that.

i wondered why i stopped writing all the sudden. i guess then i remembered why i started. i was living in japan and felt too lazy to send email updates. then i got bored and thought talking about the culture was infinitely more interesting than what i was wearing to work, i what my favorite band was at the moment. so it made sense. then i got back to america and found writing about america proved much harder than i gave it credit for.

konanymous was my word for what it felt like to be a foreigner in a strange land. you are both simultaneously a glaring sore thumb in the face of a homogeneous land and yet completely anonymous having no way for those living in that land to gain a read from you based on your accent, wardrobe or mannerisms, because they had no context for comparison.

now living with other earthlings again that sense of newness and wonder have worn much thinner. you feel like a raindrop joining a large puddle and are therefore left with the reality of your own importance, your own worth as someone after you've been stripped of your specialness.

its been two years now in seattle, my life has significantly changed. i work at a meaningful occupation, i live simply and continually find vast amounts of space now in my life. a place where your identity is vastly different and all that you once ascribed meaning to is once again in need of redefining.

so these days i find myself looking up less in wonder. i see that the noise has become a drone. these observations betray my little quote at the top of this site and yet remind me i've been walking for a while in yet another foreign land.

Dog Breeders Issue Massive Recall Of '07 Pugs!

-from the onion